Who Are You?

An Experiment in Storytelling

Who are you?

One possible answer is that you are part Royal, part Warrior, part Lover, and part Magician.

In this interactive experiment in storytelling, you will be asked to contemplate these identities and relate them to your own stories while reflecting on the stories of others.

Watch the video below to hear how one person answered the question: "Who are you?" His answer inspired me to reflect on how storytelling and identity shape each other, taught me about four archetypes, and made me re-think how I might answer that question myself.

You just heard a snippet from an oral history interview I conducted for my master's thesis on storytelling in Alcoholics Anonymous. My goal is to explore the structures around which we frame our stories about ourselves and our past. We all create personal narratives throughout our lives, which emphasize or de-emphasize certain aspects of our identities. These stories reinforce how we understand who we are.

The four archetypes the narrator uses – King, Warrior, Lover, Magician – create a self-contained, unique framework to illustrate these processes in real time.

Although the narrator refers to the four archetypes (from Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette) in the context of masculinity, I believe they express common attributes of humanity and, thus, are relevant to people of all genders. I have adapted them somewhat to be more inclusive, and use them as the organizing structure for this experiment in storytelling.

The Experiment:

First, you will get a brief overview of each archetype. Then you will be randomly assigned one of the four archetypes. This will be the primary lens through which you frame your past experiences throughout this exercise.

Next, you will be presented with three prompts. You are asked to respond to each with a story from your life, thinking about how your assigned archetype was dominant in that moment. You can choose to type your stories and publish them to this website or share them solely with me. I am excited to read them!

Some questions to guide your thoughts as you participate:

o How do the stories we tell reflect our identities, values, and aspirations?

o How do the stories we hear from others affect what we remember?

o How do the stories we tell shape who we are becoming?

Royal

o Brings stability, order, and calm

o Has integrity and strong values

o Encourages creativity, growth, and productivity in self and others

o Recognizes and honors others' achievements

Warrior

o Has a purpose and works towards it

o Is loyal to something beyond themselves

o Engages with life; is courageous

Lover

o Builds connections with others and with the world

o Uses all senses to engage with the world

o Feels and experiences vividly, both joys and sorrows

Magician

o Works to gain knowledge and understanding

o Is thoughtful and reflective, making insightful decisions that foster growth and transformation

o Acts as a mentee and a mentor, both learning and sharing knowledge

Click 'Generate' below to be assigned a random number that corresponds to an archetype.

Instructions

Once you have your assigned number, click on the corresponding number above to see your archetype!

You are a Royal

Royals provide order, structure, calm, and peace. They are centered. They have strong values that do not waver. They create structures to help others flourish to the best of their abilities. And they embody these qualities in their daily lives; they live with integrity. Royals are also protectors. They defend and care for their many realms – their homes, their workplaces, their inner selves – physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Royals also inspire creativity and greatness in others. They recognize and honor others' achievements and help others reach their full potential.

You are a Warrior

Warriors have a purpose – in life and in each moment – and are always working to further their goals. They are loyal and have a strong sense of duty to something beyond themselves: their cause, their task, their people. Warriors understand that every act counts, life is finite, and there is no time for hesitation or for backing off from their goals. Thus, Warriors engage with life at every moment. Sometimes they must destroy to build something better. In this way, Warriors can be creative and generative. Warriors are aggressive, but in service to a greater purpose.

You are a Lover

Lovers are all about feeling. They use each of their senses to experience the world vividly and through as many dimensions as possible. Because of this, Lovers experience the joys and pains of life deeply. They are in tune with their emotions as they move through the world, and are sensitive to others; they are empathetic. Lovers also seek to build connections with other people and the world around them. In these ways, Lovers are open: to experiences, to feelings, to relationships, to the world.

You are a Magician

Magicians seek knowledge. They work to understand things that are not immediately obvious. Magicians are constantly observing and learning, and are thoughtful and introspective. They use their knowledge to spur careful, insightful decision-making, and foster both internal transformation and external growth in others and the world. Magicians are masters at creating and using tools to turn ideas into physical realities. Magicians act both as mentees – always wanting to learn more – and as mentors – sharing the knowledge they have gained with others.

Prompts

As you reflect on the following three questions, consider your experiences from the point of view of the archetype you were assigned. You can read the responses of people who came before you to see how each archetype elicits and influences stories in distinct ways. If you would like to post your own responses, please type and submit them in the corresponding boxes. With your consent, I will post them to this site.

Prompt 1:

What is an early memory in which you embodied the archetype you were assigned?

To read others' responses, click on the arrows below:

"Being aware of the world around me has always been a very important part of my life. Though I was a very quiet kid, I have always loved sitting with people and listening. One of my earliest memories is of sitting out on a patio with my grandmother, eating mangos, and listening to her tell a story about what happened the first time she met my grandfather. Throughout the years, little memories like that one are what I remember the most. Just being present with the people I love is something I really value."

Lover

"I grew up in a small city in Massachusetts that was overwhelmingly Catholic. To my 5yr old self, pretty much most of the world was Catholic. So it didn't make sense to me when my father said he was going to vote for JFK for president, but doubted he would win because many Americans wouldn't vote for a Catholic. He must have been very patient as I asked question after question:

"Why not?" "Because most Americans are Protestant." "What's a Protestant?" "A different kind of Christian." "How can most Americans be Protestant when everyone here is Catholic?" "Our city isn't representative of the rest of the country." "Huh?" etc. etc...

I struggled so hard to understand what was, for me, a suddenly expanding universe of geography, religion, decision making, bias, politics, and power. Quite a stew for a 5yr old! The events in my childhood that I remember most vividly were often instances when I didn't understand something. That lack of understanding spurred hours and hours of thinking and asking and turning things over in my mind until some sort of intellectual resolution occurred. I couldn't rest until I figured it out. I'm like that to this day!"

Magician

"I was nine years old. I lived in Delaware. My family had taken a spring trip to Florida to visit my grandparents, driving from Delaware to their home in Pompano Beach, Florida where they lived. They returned the visit toward the end of summer. Eating dinner with them on the back porch, I asked why there were separate water fountains at stops along the way - marked either for "colored" or "whites only". I had not experienced blatant segregation in this way previously. I wasn't given a direct answer. Only my parents shaking their heads "no" - not a question to be asked. Turned out my grandfather immigrated from Germany at the end of WW II. I never learned his answer to the question. I didn't have an answer to my question - just knew there was something wrong about having separate water fountains."

Lover

"Not my earliest, but one of my most traumatic. I was about 5, and I fell and had to have stitches around my left eye. In the doctor's office, they were putting me under to do this - and I awoke and (though my eyes were closed) I saw electronic-type stick figure men running across my field of vision. I started kicking everyone and moving around the table. I fought my hardest. I heard the doctor say, "Somebody grab him," but I was hitting and kicking anyone who touched me. They subdued me, and I went under. I had forgotten this episode - and certainly don't think of myself as a fighter, a warrior - but maybe I am more than I realize."

Warrior

"I was responsible at nine years old for watching over my sister who was six and newly diagnosed as a brittle diabetic. She would sometimes have convulsions due to a dramatic drop in blood sugar during the night. My parent's room was downstairs. Frequently I carried [my sister] down the stairs calling for my parents so they could get the orange juice or injection ready to bring her around."

Lover

"As the child of a very excitable and nervously energetic mother, I suppose it was natural for me to model my dad instead and develop a strong sense of calm and stability--if only to assist in keeping Mom grounded! From 2nd grade through junior high I was often voted class Vice President, which at first surprised me. When I asked kids why they thought I'd be a good leader, they said it was because I was unbiased and very fair. Seems I was universally liked, without ever realizing it! It should be noted that from then 'til now, I am quite happy to serve in several community groups in a close-to-the-top, supportive leadership role, without wanting to be top banana."

Royal

"I have always been aware of how people react and respond to events around them that they can or cannot control. These lessons were formed for me as a youngster being with my dad and listening to experiences he had during WWII. He was an MP and in charge of a contingent of Italian prisoners doing work release on local farms in Utah. The attitude, appreciation, happiness for what they were doing so far from home and the joy of living. They had a wide variety of talent and skills that they were willing to share and receive back from the people they were helping. People can feel a sense of belonging and value when they are loved and their efforts are appreciated. This is how I learned to work and live."

Lover

"I have an early memory on the playground of my elementary school, maybe 1st or 2nd grade. There was a row of hemlock trees that separated the yard from the sidewalk. I remember organizing a bunch of other kids to do this big project of collecting the little pinecones from the ground under the trees, sorting, and burying collections of them. I remember the bustling energy of everyone working together as a team, the sense of purpose, how compelling the activity seemed (I know there was some larger narrative to the project, but now I cannot remember it, only the feeling of the experience)."

Royal

"In elementary school, I used to be the class leader, just because nobody else wanted to volunteer for the position. But I am grateful that I stepped up as the experience shaped me to be who I am today: a woman leader, a scholar, an activist, a wife, and a mother."

Royal

"I am a middle child and my place amongst my siblings has caused me to feel less like a warrior than any of the other archetypes. So this is hard. One of my earliest memories (age 5, almost 6) is of moving to a new town which was to become the only major move my family made. I remember the large moving truck that carried our belongings; I remember being excited to play on the ramp and with the dollies and straps used for moving heavier pieces. Maybe not consciously but certainly innately I felt it was my duty to explore every inch of that truck and all the equipment that came with it. I believe I saw myself as good at physical challenges, maybe tomboyish even then. Charging up the ramp was the best part, seeing how fast I could make it to the top and stopping at different levels to leap from the ramp onto the ground. I recall thinking I could turn the empty truck into my own house and just live there instead of staying in the rental house my family had just inhabited. Just before the truck was to be returned I was making one more huge leap from the top of the ramp when I came down on my ankle wrong and badly sprained my ankle. I still remember the dismay I felt with failing to make the leap. I started First Grade on crutches!"

Warrior

"When I was in kindergarten I organized a going away party for one of my classmates who was moving out of state. I remember proposing the idea to my friends, going with them to the teacher and then planning a party at the end of the year for us to say goodbye."

Royal

"I think I'm the anti-lover. I grew up with an emotionally engulfing mother, and my strategy for not being overwhelmed by her was to stay inside my own emotional shell. I certainly have plenty of emotions and are attuned to the emotions of others, but I do not like to share my emotions or present my "feelings" in public."

Lover

"Being a boy in an extended family of girls - I was king. No curfew, no worries about pregnancy for my parents - a boy was supposed to sow his wild oats. There was some responsibility, too, I guess, to be stereotypically male - in a very small range."

Royal

"From a young age, I felt connected to nature. I loved regenerative cycles in everything, and I try to always find a cycle where nothing goes to waste, no object and no emotion. I find this balance state is the solution to everything, the self-sufficiency. I think a memory would be my first time to watch the clouds moving and really disassociate from the real world. It was in my group in kindergarten picture. A short kid looking at the sky."

Lover

Type your response:

Prompt 2:

And I think as you get older, you – especially if you've had a difficult childhood – you want to fill that again. I know I talk about holes a lot, but you want to fill in those holes. You want to erase – or not erase, but replace – some of the pain of growing up in a difficult family, in a town that you weren't comfortable in.

Q: And what's the process of overwriting or filling in holes?

It's having positive interaction with the people that you shared the holes, or the pain. They didn't cause it but you shared it with them. So you overlay it, or I kind of like rewrite, rerecord, positive interactions with the same people. Every positive interaction with them helped rewrite the story.

This is a segment from an oral history interview I conducted on storytelling in Alcoholics Anonymous. According to the narrator, the theme of holes– feelings of emptiness or absence – and working to fill them, is a common "narrative bucket" in Alcoholics Anonymous. People often use the language of "holes" in their stories, and fit their experiences into that framework. The narrator gives one way he fills his holes; other people have other ways.

What is one way you – working from the strengths of your assigned archetype – tried to fill a hole in your past?

To read others' responses, click on the arrows below:

"I think as a teacher I fill holes for a living! Creating an environment in my classroom that allows students to feel heard and competent is a daily goal and life-long pursuit. Listening closely to students' words and then responding so they know they have been heard is a daily practice. In other words, I make the space for kids to express themselves without fear of judgement."

Royal

"By being present. There were times in my life where I felt like the people I loved were unable to be as present as I needed them to be. As I have gotten older, I think I am rewriting those holes by always making time for the people that matter in my life. Building memories by spending quality time, if nothing else, has given me a way to think through how much deeper connections with people matter to me."

Lover

"I took action. I did things no one in my family had ever done. I moved to a big city. I got a graduate degree. I set the rules... for myself."

Royal

"I always wanted to understand myself and other people. I studied psychology and philosophy in college, and theology in graduate school. But at that point, when I was making serious decisions about a future career, I felt very lopsided — heavy on abstraction and too far removed from the real, material, nitty-gritty world. So to fill that hole, I decided to become a doctor (which I did!)"

Magician

"I became the family historian to create connections among adult siblings and our parents that were missing due to significant age differences growing up and real and perceived criticisms of how we were raised."

Lover

"As a kid sometimes I was bossy. As an adult I got to see my elementary school report cards and they said things like, "(she) has leadership potential which needs to be developed." Code for bossy. I think I have filled that hole by trying to be a leader as an adult who supports others to develop their strengths, who is grounded in their own strength and so can give others freedom. Of course this is easier said than done."

Royal

"Breathing. Accepting."

Lover

"How do you live your life? In the complex interplay of ideals and pragmatism, perhaps an HONORABLE Warrior sees his/her duty and despite great costs, follows the calling to the end. My world is far removed from battle, but working in a bureaucracy, there are times when one is faced, mostly on the mundane level, but still significant, between self-interest and the greater good. I used to be more on the greater good side, but now I don't know."

Warrior

"Stop and smell the roses, listen and appreciate your family and true friends."

Lover

"I try to feel everything fully and contemplate, to have a better view, and if I cannot fix it for myself easily, I try to make my younger brother have a different and better experience."

Lover

Type your response:

Prompt 3:

What is a recent time when you embodied characteristics of your archetype?

To read others' responses, click on the arrows below:

"Last year, my husband and I travelled to China for the first time. Not knowing much about the country, for several months before we left I read about China — history, historical fiction, modern novels, essays, guidebooks. I kind of immersed myself in a web of Chinese cultural information. It was wonderfully rich, with each source deepening another, and was so rewarding, both in and of itself, and to have that background to draw on when we were touring the country. I'm going to do that in the future for every place we travel — and have been advising my friends and family to do the same."

Magician

"I recently organized a conference that was severely underfunded. A challenge my co-organizers and I faced was compiling a panel of speakers and experts from a diversity of backgrounds (geographic, race, gender, age, field of study), especially when we couldn't pay them to speak. The easiest solution was pulling professors who worked at the university (a solution we were constantly encouraged to pursue by our own professors and classmates). Yet, these professors mainly fit one demographic—old white men. We were adamant that we did not simply want diversity in the paper presentations but also in the speakers we invited to the conference. This approach was time consuming and required reaching out to more people but we eventually created a conference that we felt was more representative of the topics we were covering where multiple voices were heard and elevated. During this process, I realized how easy it would've been to just follow the norm and unintentionally end up with a conference of mainly white men. By sticking to our values and honoring the achievements of others in the field we were able to amplify the voices of women of color specifically and create a space for students to see themselves reflected in the presenters."

Royal

"Connecting with people is something that seems even more necessary given the state of the world. I've been making sure to reach out to both my friends, family, and coworkers on a consistent basis. Not to talk about anything specific, but just to connect and give them and myself a place to feel present and safe in the uncertain world we live in. It has helped to talk to family and friends who may be feeling anxious and stressed and just providing a listening ear and showing that I care about them."

Lover

"During the covid crisis, I am savoring the small (but really large) pleasures of life: music, reading/words, sleep. I LOVE them."

Lover

"I think that during the coronavirus pandemic I have embodied some of the characteristics of the royal. In my work and family life I have tried to support structures that can allow others to continue with their lives in the face of this incredible upheaval. With so many decisions to make, it has felt very important to be grounded in my own values. When so much of what are used to is stripped away, we see what is foundational for us."

Royal

"I won't go into details, but there have been times when each day seemed to be a struggle just to get through. I see the Warrior getting up every day and facing the battle for good, despite weariness, despite wounds. Really, every day can be a battle."

Warrior

"I began a new job - reporting to someone very powerful. Despite his power, I treated him as equals - and perhaps like most kings and their arrogance - I misunderstand the relationship my boss wanted. The king was beheaded."

Royal

"The time we are in is unlike anything you could imagine. Family and friends are our greatest asset that we love and cherish. Talk, listen and love."

Lover

"I had bad experiences and I am still struggling to find peace most of the time. The only thing I can do is being empathetic and to feel for other people and offer what I think I would want in the same position, I am trying to make the people I love [know] that I appreciate their existence without them trying, that they are enough as I know it's sometimes hard to be sure."

Lover

Type your response:

Do you have any thoughts or reflections on this experience? Any personal revelations? New insights on how you tell stories, what you emphasize, how that is shaped both by outside forces and how you view yourself?

If you would like, please comment below with any final thoughts!

To read others' responses, click on the arrows below:

"Framing stories through a specific lens made me a lot more intentional about exploring parts of my personal narrative that I may not have considered very significant through a generic "tell me about yourself" angle. It pushed me to think through how I have embodied different characteristics and when they became a salient part of my personal story. I really enjoyed the experience to think more critically about who I am."

"Reading other respondents' stories brought back memories I had long forgotten. It made me wonder how much of our life story we could actually construct out of our own memories alone, or if we are dependent on hearing the stories of others in order to have a full and rich personal narrative."

"I noticed how the first story I selected, in addition to my archetype, framed the next stories I told, and how they turned into a larger narrative arc. It was neat! I really enjoyed this activity, especially seeing others' responses."

"I can't believe how amazing it is to look through your life from a certain perspective. I was more of a king than I realized."

"I was skeptical about whether this exercise would be useful - but I was very, pleasantly, surprised. By seeing past events through a new and different lens, I gained insight into the event, and then realized the story as I usually told it did not convey the strength that I exhibited (I got Warrior in this exercise). Then I began thinking, perhaps I have been underestimating that part of me, which I then reflected in my next answers."

"It's interesting to tell a story through a lens. It really makes you think."

"This approach made me remember and view a memory I had long forgotten that significantly shaped my life and relationship with a sibling. Very effective! Thank you."

"Lover was my [archetype]. I see myself as Royal, Warrior, and challenged by Lover. Very thought provocative and well worthwhile. Thank you."

Type your response:

The purpose of this experiment was to project a specific identity onto you, one you might not have claimed before, but that perhaps everyone embodies at different points in their lives. This imposed structure was meant to guide the way you reflected on your past, thus influencing the stories that came to mind and the ways you framed them.

Storytelling is powerful. The ways we see ourselves – how we define our identities – cause us to remember and emphasize certain stories that build up and support those identities. At the same time, we de-emphasize past experiences that do not fit those dominant narratives. This can happen consciously or not.

We not only tell stories, we also hear stories from others. These can influence our own stories, too.

My hope is that this experiment in storytelling has helped illustrate these patterns in real time. In reading the responses of others, you can see the variations in the stories that are told when different archetypes – different aspects of identity – are emphasized. Maybe you can see how those stories could influence one's sense of oneself going forward. I hope you continue to reflect on storytelling and its power to both shape and reinforce our identities – and perhaps, even change them.

Click here – and refresh this webpage – to retry with another archetype

About the Creator

Lily Doron is a student in Columbia University's Oral History Master of Arts program. She graduated from Duke University in 2017 with a major in ethics, human rights, and documentary studies. Lily has done oral history projects around the world and produced a podcast before coming to Columbia. She is currently working on a project to understand how storytelling is used as a strategy for healing in Alcoholics Anonymous. Lily is from Durham, North Carolina, and loves traveling, cooking, and playing ultimate Frisbee.

Contact:

Lily Doron
lilypdoron@gmail.com

Illustrations by Seo Kim
seokim.com